Everything I Needed to KNOW ABOUT Life

I Learned From

 

You’ve Got To Clear Out The Negative Energy - Daniela

Aigner Mathis & Joshua Sherman

Even though I should have learned this earlier in my life, this life lesson is one that I experienced and have come to accept because of the In The Heights FAMILIA. The lesson is how to obtain happiness and even though it may sound simple it is a task to do. I've heard this sort of thing all my life but in the reverse "think positively", "good thoughts breed good energies", "chin up buttercup" and other inspirational cliche-y quotes that you can think of. But never have I had it presented to me such as this: "Cut out the negative in your life." For some reason, phrased like that, my mind could wrap its way around it. I started weeding out the few people in my life who tended to bring me down and in return I found a huge family that supported me when I was down and who lift me up to great Heights (see what I did there?). A wise person once told me: "It is unfair to everyone around you if you are not living for yourself 100%. You want to make others happy? Be yourself and they will be ecstatic to be near you." By cutting out the negativity in my life I gained so much! Happiness. -Joshua Sherman “Benny”

 

Don’t Gossip. It’s a Sin! - Carla

Never be embarrassed about who you are and where you came from. Your story is YOUR story, and although many people have similar experiences, no one in this world will ever live the exact same life as you. Be proud of that.  - Natalie Coca “Carla”

Coffee is best served with a little bit of cinnamon. - Usnavi

Austin Beck, Benicka Grant, & Natalie Coca

I have learned for one, not to take myself too seriously! Being around dancers all the time can be stressful. We , as dancers strive for perfection but in the theater world, it's ok to have fun. Theater people are so much more encouraging and supportive than dancers. We people in this cast say they love you, they mean it. I've also learned that YOU CAN be a part of a cast where everyone gets along with one another. It truly feels like a family and there will never be a cast of people who are even remotely as amazing as these guys are.  -Benicka Grant “Dance Diva”

When You Have A Problem, You Go Home! - Camila

Jeremy Coca & Pamela Langton

Being involved in this amazing show has made me realize that you can never push yourself hard enough. You can always get better and there are people out there to help you along the way. It has also given me new hope that my dreams of being on Broadway or in shows here in Dallas aren’t dead! You are never too old to keep your dreams alive and I will continue to take my voice lessons, keep up my dancing and acting and get out there and audition as much as possible. One last thing, I have learned from this cast, these young people are fierce!!! They have a passion and a light that I want to steal and keep in a jar!!! They have taught me that if you try hard enough, work hard enough, love everyone enough, party enough, you can have it all!!! I want it too and I am going to take a little of all of them with me when this show is over. I love each and every cast member, I never thought that a bond like this was possible but it is. I hope they will never forget me, I know I won’t ever forget them.  -Pamela Langton “Camila Rosario”

“DREAMS COME TRUE…” – Karen Olivo, Original Broadway Vanessa

Natalie Coca, Amanda Williams, Sarah Dickerson

ITH slapped me right across my face. This show and its cast have reminded me what true love of theatre and performing is. Together we transcend the notes on the page and the words in the script. We breathe real life and real emotion into every character. We begin with joined hands and end with joined hands, and through each other we send that love and that energy into each and every heart and soul that sits wide-eyed before us. THIS is how it's supposed be. -Amanda Williams “Daniela”

 

With Patience & Faith, there are 96,000 possibilities! – Abuela Claudia

My life lesson...lord...I feel like being in In The Heights has given me everything. It filled so many voids in my heart. It showed me that I CAN love again, and not romantically, but just love PEOPLE. I am in love with not one person, but with about 25 people and I will never not be. I've gained sisters I've never had, I've gained confidence in myself, in my body, in who I am. Before Heights, I felt I wasn't the kind of person that stood out, or that anyone really cared to know or have around...almost like a throwaway convenience friend. With this cast, I have felt everything I never knew I could feel in my heart. Walls have been torn down by these glorious people and I am forever in debt to their love and graciousness on a daily basis. Like Adam told me before, I sparkle...I SPARKLE. I never thought I sparkled even a bit. But he and everyone involved have convinced me that I do indeed have everything I need inside of me to be wonderful, that I can accomplish anything. My fat (fab) 4...I can't even talk about them without tearing up...what we all have is so special and will always be in my heart forever. Heights has given me back what I had lost in years of heartache and pain and doubt...MYSELF. -Sarah Dickerson “Vanessa”

Barcardi is great to soothe your fear of flying! – Kevin



Aigner Mathis & Mark Quach

What I took away from this show is how important community and family really is. My cast mates are my family. From seeing them every day and carpooling home in the Coca car, every moment with them was special. Also, it's so refreshing being in a cast so energetic and sharing the same passion of the show as I do. Abuela Claudia says "Ay mama, what do you do when your dreams come true?" This show is a dream come true. -Mark Quach

When All Else Fails…Just Breathe! - Nina

In the end, I'm left with memories and broadening my familia. Being in this show, I was reminded that I should live in the now. Focus on what's happening at this moment around you. I'm left remembering the love of a family that I gained along the way.   -Jeremy Coca, “Little Coca”

Alabanza means to raise this thing to God’s face and say Praise to this! - Usnavi

Jordan Ghanbari, Rashard Turley, Aigner Mathis, Rashaun Sibley
& Darren McElroy

I'm going to start this by revealing something that I've held on to this entire production...I had no idea what In The Heights was until I did research for the audition, there, I said it. I know other people were in the same boat, but they got to blog about theirs and turn it into a heartwarming story...this brotha was not afforded the same opportunity. I risked being "that guy" who wasn't knowledgeable about the show and personally, I didn't want to take that risk. My theatre education dealt with learning about more non-musical plays, names like Neil Simon, August Wilson, Harold Pinter, and Christopher Durang were ones that I was accustomed to. I knew about musicals, but I wasn't rocking out to show-tunes in my car, because to me, they had been lacking something, that rawness, that grit, something that I appreciate in old school r&b and neo-soul music...In The Heights brought that for me. Someone can sing the life out of a song, do it technically perfect and you can appreciate their talent, but that doesn't mean you want it playing in on your radio constantly. In The Heights broke down a barrier and opened the door to a new set of eyes, ones who looked at chorus lines and laughed, ones where the the bubble-gum pop sounds just wasn't cutting it. I learned because of this show, musicals have changed forever. Whether this was the mindset of Lin or not, it has come to past and more and more people of this generation are becoming interested in the very thing we all love so very much. I am so thankful that I got the chance to be a part of this show that I've come to enjoy to the fullest and being surrounded by all of you made it that much more of a beautiful thing.  -Darren McElroy, “One Hell of a Right Hook-Just ask Benny”

Remember to tell your family’s story.

 

"Value" is defined in the Merriam Webster dictionary as: relative worth, utility, or importance.
That being said, we all, as human beings, just because of our existence, hold value. But how valuable we actually are however, rarely gets defined. What doing this show has taught me is that all of us, every performer, member of the creative and technical team, every note sung, move danced, and line read, is valuable beyond measure. In this industry, it is very easy to get underestimated, unappreciated. This show, these actors, this theatre, is for the most part, an underdog. A long shot. A 26 person show in the relatively small Rose Marine Theatre of Fort Worth, most of them being novice's to the stage without a professional credit on their resume, trying to pull off one of the most difficult modern musicals of our time, AND being the first professional theatre in the region to do so? Were we crazy? Who expected us to not only pull it off, but to truly produce something that the entire world could be proud of? But, we did it. We succeeded, together. There was struggle, there was anger, there was plenty of doubt, but in the end, we surpassed even our own expectations. Why? Because if there is ANYTHING that "In The Heights" can teach you, is that YOU determine how valuable you are. You determine your worth. The way you treat those around you, and the way they treat you, has the power to make whatever it is you come together to create, miraculous. We are worth the countless rave reviews from the critics, we are worth the endless standing ovations, because we believed we are. We established that that was our worth. Every single one of us has a home, a voice, a dream. We are valuable beyond measure. We are infinite, and now, there's absolutely no doubt about it.  -Matt Ransdell Jr. "Usnavi"

People Come, People Go, But There’s No Place Like Home. - Usnavi

The Friends Who Are Your Family – May Not Always Be Your Friends, But They Will Always Be Your Family.  –Adam Adolfo “The Director”

 

 

Albanza … this #InTheHeightsFW experience

YO! Why is everyone so happy? - Deep thoughts with "Vanessa's" SARAH MARIA DICKERSON

Rashaun Sibley (Sonny) & Me

YO! Why is everyone so happy?

BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO OPEN IN THE HEIGHTS OH MY LORD.

 Since I auditioned for this show, my life has completely changed.

I originally heard about auditions for In The Heights late last year, and I knew ABOUT the show , thought it could be fun, but didn’t think I really stood a chance to be in it. I mean, its about Washington Heights...the barrio! I thought nah…I could not fit any role in that show.

Now, I AM ¼ Mexican (which I am very proud of) but I never thought of it as my ethnicity. My mom doesn’t speak Spanish, I barely ever see my grandma and when I do, the only Spanish she speaks is when she’s ordering at a Mexican restaurant. So, when my best friend Michael Sylvester told me I should audition I was like…whaaaaaat. What part could I possibly play? He told me to look up all of the songs for Nina, especially Breathe. I was like, really? He said trust me, it IS you. I went home, listened to Breathe, and sobbed for a good 20 minutes listening to it on repeat. It pretty much summed up what happened to me 6 years prior when I left college in Manhattan and had to come home after a semester…I felt like a complete failure and that I had let everyone down. I quickly became VERY attached to the part. I learned all of Nina’s songs, and had planned to audition for the show.



"Little Coca" and me!

Soon, I became very caught up in other shows I was doing, so Heights moved to the back of my brain. Then, I remember one night after a show of myFootloose, Adam, our Heights director, coming up to me in the greeting line and handing me his card, saying he wanted me to come audition for In The Heights. I was so excited that he had noticed me, so I made plans in my head to set up an audition time. BUT of course, soon I was once again caught up in the NEXT show, Thoroughly Modern Millie. I was TIRED at that point yall. T-I-R-E-D. I knew I needed to take a break. So, in a bold move, I said what the hell and cut my hair into the short bob needed for that character. Then, one night again – Adam is at Millie. I think oh no…I didn’t ever sign up to audition…and I really don’t have any plans to sign up anymore. He basically yelled at me for not signing up, AND for cutting my hair. (OOPS. I definitely regret that now.)We talked a bit, and he let me know that between Millie and Heights there was about a month til rehearsals started – with that little bit of info, I was totally on board again to audition. I signed up the next day, prepared my audition and showed up the day of - - TERRIFED.

Like I said before, I was not very familiar with the show at ALL. I had of course heard 96,000, seen the Tony performance, and knew the lead dude rapped a lot. That was baaaaasically all I knew, aside from all of Nina’s songs. So I showed up, (WITH some extensions in) sweating and shaking to the audition. Went in, sang my song, did some pushing around with Adam on stage while I sang (the whole time I was thinking am I really shoving the director right now?), and left the stage thinking AGH I wish I could do it all over! Went into the lobby and was handed callback packets for…Vanessa and Carla?!? What are THEIR songs and stories?! All I had ever learned was Nina, I had no idea who any of the other female characters were. My first feeling was extreme disappointment. I had really gotten attached to Nina’s character and seeing that I wasn’t called back for her I felt sad, BUT now I had these two new chicas to learn about. I went home, YouTubed and Google’d my face off and saw that both of those girls were AWESOME characters and I fell in love with them as well.

My best friend, Michael Anthony Sylvester - "Graffiti Pete"

So, I went to callbacks again, TERRIFIED. Especially when I walked in – I was a little late coming straight from my full time job, and was called in immediately to sing for Carla. I was flustered and completely botched it. But even from the beginning – I already felt the sense of family as soon as I walked off the stage from my horrid rendition of Carla’s solo in Blackout, embarassed. One girl said ‘I love your shoes’ and another agreed with her and somehow it made me feel so much better. I mean, who compliments other people at auditions? Who smiles and laughs and talks to you when they’re COMPETING with you for a part? Exactly. That’s what I mean when I say this was NOT your typical callback – everyone was SO nice. And everyone was SO FIERCE. Every voice was amazing. I got up to sing for Vanessa, I believe almost last and my nerves were just SHOT. I had just listened to 10 other BEAUTIFUL girls belt to the gods. But I got up there, and gave it all I could.

Dancing wise – I had a blast! The dance was so challenging and fun and I had the best time. And when I say everyone was a SICK dancer – I mean it. I was asked to salsa, alone, to Jay Z rapping at one point while everyone stared at me and I thought "I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. And everyone is staring at me oh my god" At this point, I started to feel pretty un-talented. I was having so much fun, but I was starting to think of it as "Hey, at least you tried!" I left feeling good about my audition on the whole, but felt that there was way too much talent there for me to have gotten any part…until the phone call from Adam came.

I got a text message that night –"You awake?" and I responded "Yes!" Adam called me. He asked "So, are you happy with how your audition went today?" I answered "Well…uh…I…could have done better with my acting while I sang…and I could have danced better. Are you happy with how things went?" He answered "That depends on how you answer my next question – will you be my Vanessa?" I can’t even begin to describe what I felt…WHAT!?!?!?!?!? I immediately started sobbing and DUH said yes. We chatted a little and hung up. I sat on my bed…and then it sank in…oh god. Im Vanessa. And I got really terrified. I had never played a "sexy" character before. Am I sexy enough? Can I dance well enough? What if no one likes me?

"The Fantastic Four" - Just part of the familia!

But from there, I started to get to know Adam, Lorens, Matt and Joshua and fell in LOVE with them. They quickly became my little family. Soon it came the day to have our first cast meet up – and it was like a family REUNION. It was like we had all known and loved eachother for years. When I say this cast is a family, it REALLY is. I could literally talk so easily to ANY of them. I am entirely in love with every single person. Pilar feels like my Abuela. Lorens is like my long lost sister. Each person is like another family member I have added to the tree.

Vanessa is one of the characters that I thought I would never get the chance to play. I remember seeing her in the Tony performance of 96,000, watching Karen Olivo and thinking wow that would be such an awesome part to play. She’s got swag, she’s got sass, I love her. But for some reason, I felt I really was never THAT person. The first time we all sang through 96,000, tears came to my eyes realizing that this was real life, I am doing something I thought I wasn’t capable of and lord almighty I am going to try my BEST to be as good as I possibly can. I want to do this for my family - my mom’s side of the family that comes from Guadalajara. I want to feel like if they saw the show, they would be proud of me. This is the first time I have ever felt like I’m Latina. I mean, I knew I was. But I’d never FELT it. Words have stuck with me that cast member Michael Sylvester told me – "it doesn’t matter HOW much Latin blood you have in you. Its there. You ARE Latina!"

Just call me, VANESSA.

I’ve had t deal with a lot of things on top of trying to keep it together in rehearsal . I’ve gone through major heartache, finding my way into a new job – and through all of this, my Heights cast has been there EVERY SINGLE DAY with hugs, words of encouragement, TACOS, and love. I could not be more BLESSED than I am now in my life. At the beginning of this journey I felt lost, alone, and unsure of who I was. Through finding my home in this cast, I have found myself. I’ve found confidence. I’ve found lifelong friends. I’ve found that I CAN be sexy, I can feel wanted. I would never trade being a part of the Heights familia for the world. I can already picture myself on closing night just sobbing as we sing the Finale. BUT I can’t think of that yet! We’re about to OPEN! I hope everyone is ready and so excited because I cannot WAIT to get out there and BRING IT!! WEPA!!!!!!!!!!!

 

White Boy Can Rap: Looking at Benny in a New Way with one of the show's stars, Joshua Sherman

Let me start off by saying that YES! White boy CAN rap… I think… I hope… And that’s the mantra that has been playing in my head ever since I was officially offered the role of “Benny” in In the Heights.

Let me give you a perspective on how me and rap evolved through the ages! At one time this was my answer when people asked me if I liked rap: “No! Rap is an abomination of sound! One does not perform rap, one commits it! Like any other crime.” And I’m dead serious. I would tell people that all the time. Now don’t bite my head off! This was years ago and I had a reason as to why I didn’t like that type of music. The main reason being because my big brother loved it and he would torture me with rap every day!

You see, we used to share a bedroom when we were growing up and SOMEONE had to go to Football practice every morning at six. “How did he wake up?” You ask? Well, not like a normal human being with a simple alarm clock, oh no! He had a radio. A big one. With subwoofers and all. And every morning around 5:15am it would kick on and rapidly go up in volume until his lazy A$$ got out of bed to turn it off. And what was the obnoxious distortion of sound blaring from the depths of the speakers from hell? Why rap of course.  Eventually my brother went off to college and that raucousness every morning died down. Thus began the cleaning of my musical pallet, if you will.

And then one day I was flipping through the channels and I see an image of a grungy stage setting, interesting lighting, and a man with a microphone. I instantly halted to check it out. And there it was! A patter song! On television! I was like “I’ve gotta see what this musical is! I’ve never heard of it before.” So, I’m watching this musical and in strolls my brother and asks “Isn’t this 8 Mile?” I, of course, had no idea. So I just shrugged it off thinking he’d pass through, but no. He sits down and watches it with me! Which, my brother watching a musical is like seeing Hilary Clinton in anything but a pant suit; just strange. So I asked him “Do you know this musical?” He looked at me as though I had verbally smacked our grandma. “That’s Eminem.” He said. “Wait… the white rapper?” I asked a bit puzzled. He just nodded and continued to watch the movie as my mind went into a maelstrom! What was I doing!? I had betrayed my convictions! My paradigm was crumbling down before my eyes as I continued to watch and enjoy this… dare I say it… rapper. Ever since then I got more and more lenient on my loathing for the style of music. And actually learned to enjoy some of it! Particularly Eminem, Beastie Boys and now Macklemore! After I was cast I watched and researched everything I could on or about rap: it’s origin. It’s evolution. The meaning behind it. The power behind it. And I’ve come to respect it a lot more than I ever thought possible!

So fast forward to March when I got ahold of the soundtrack to In The Heights.  A musical I had heard nothing about but supposedly had a lot of hype behind it. I loved the music. Rap and all! I sat on it for a while wondering if I should even audition… I mean, I didn’t exactly fit the skin tone of the show but, I was urged to audition and me, being THAT theatre kid who NEEDS to be working on a project at all times, decided to audition thinking that I’d maybe get put in the ensemble… but to my surprise I got called back for Benny. I was like “Alright! That’s pretty awesome.” I was handed a packet that had two snippets of songs in it. The next morning (my first free moment to look at the packet) I discovered that I would be rapping 18 bars. “I got this!” I thought as I listened to the music and rapped along. I wish I would have recorded that first time through. It was probably the WHITEST thing in the world. It was completely out of rhythm, no beats were followed, it was a train wreck and panic set it as time drew nearer to the callback time. I worked my butt off getting that 18 bars of rap down. I went over it more than 30 times or more. To the point where the next door neighbor of my apartment knocked on my door to ask me if I could do something else… But I had it! I got to the point where I was on beat, in rhythm, and had actually done it from memory quite excellently for a white boy. I was READY for this callback.

And then I got there. And everything went downhill. I instantly felt out of place. I was the only white boy there. THE ONLY ONE. And worse, we had to audition in front of each other. The first potential Benny went up and he blew it out of the water. It was great. And I was done for. My name was called and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I, The White Boy, took the long death march to center stage. They asked me if I was ready and I thought “as ready as I will ever be”. I started the song and before I could even get a third of the way through I screwed it up. Like an idiot I fumbled over my tongue and like an amateur I apologized for my stupidity and asked to restart. I could hear whispers in the corner. Judgment. The lights seemed to get brighter and hotter as each second passed and I just wanted it all to be over. I said maybe one line and just crumpled and shook my head as the music played in the background until it got to the singing portion. “At least I have this!” I thought… well, I thought wrong. I forgot the words! I kinda just hummed/laughed my way through until I remembered something. Which, I did. By god I sang that last word of the callback cut like my life depended on it.



Ensemble Member and "diva" Aigner Mathis
on break with Joshua

I walked back to my seat defeated, angry at myself, and hating my lack of natural ability to rap. Unlike every single guy who went after me displayed. It was a terrible feeling, listening to them all rap. Like a smack in the face with each syllable! They asked us all to stick around for the dance call but due to a really rude woman, an extremely difficult first eight count for a non-dancer, and the stress of my personal life; when a fellow auditionee smirked at me and said “You probably should just go”, that’s exactly what I did. I gathered my things and made a bee-line to my car.  As soon as I got into my car, what else would be playing but In The Heights? It was “Sunrise” one of my favorite songs in the show. One of Benny’s songs. And I knew that I had blown it. I would never have an opportunity to play Benny now. I would never be able to sing that song unless it’s for some showcase or some lame concert that I would have to put together. The deeper I got into the song the more regret I felt. The more hatred I had for myself. The more disappointed I became. The more passionate I became about playing that role! I could do it. I KNEW I COULD DO IT! I rapped before the callback and I could do it now! I switched it to the song that had the callback cut in it and rapped alongside the Benny on the soundtrack. I did it just fine. “INSERT MANY EXPLETIVES HERE”. I was so upset with myself. Then I got the e-mail: “We’re sorry, we cannot use your talent at this time-“ blah, blah, blah! I didn’t even read all of it. Just straight to the trash. “What talent?” I thought as I sulked to a pick-up rehearsal for a different show.

 



As I entered the building for my rehearsal I could hear music playing. Familiar music. Music that haunted my subconscious since the callbacks. They were auditioning more Bennys. I sat on the couch and was forced to listen to the boy sing and rap as I mimicked him under my breath. “I could do this.” I thought. “I could do this so much better than him.” I lay there as I was forced to listen to this boy audition for the part that I suddenly had a burning passion to play. A chance that I had thrown away because of nerves and stupid stress! Then Lorens, the phenomenal young woman playing Nina, came into the room after the audition was over to get me for our rehearsal. “You guys still haven’t found a Benny?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “No” She snipped, obviously annoyed “Even the ones who could maybe do it just don’t look the part! It looks like I would break them!” I laughed as I muttered under my breath. “I could do it.” She gave me “the look” (she heard me during my callback) “oh yeah?” she chided. I nodded and she asked me to prove it. So I did. I rapped the callback cut as I got up to go to the rehearsal. She stood there, mouth agape, and shook her head. “What?” is all I remember her saying as we left for the rehearsal. She told me that I should ask for a second chance; something that I was taught to be a taboo in the industry. But I thought about it all through rehearsal. The night before I watched an episode of Smash, in which one of the characters asked to read for a role that she wasn’t called for. She got the part and she excelled in it. I kept thinking about that episode and my new found passion for Benny.



Joshua with Lorens Portalatin (Nina) and
Music Director Kristin Spires working on
"When You're Home"

After the rehearsal our director (who was also directing In The Heights) and the musical director (who was also in the show we just finished rehearsal for) where talking about their grief about not being able to find a Benny. They were packing up to go as I stood awkwardly by the stage debating on if I should anything. “If I ask for a second audition, would I be able to do it? Would I choke again?” But I just focused on that urge, that pull for Benny… and I raised my hand. Just waiting for one of them to see me and call on me. But they were packing up. “I can’t let them leave” I thought.

“I can do it.”  I said meekly from behind them. They both looked at me eyebrows cocked; no doubt remembering my abortion of a callback. “I was wondering if I could have another go at it.” They looked at me in disbelief but agreed; desperate for something, no doubt. I knew the words. I had done it time after time after the callback. So I did it. I rapped. No music, no beats. Just rapped. After that there was a lot of hustle and hubbub. Speakers were being plugged in. Laptops were being booted up. “Here’s the lyrics, do you need to listen to the track before you do it to the beat?” “Can we get the lights up so he can see?” Librettos were being opened and pushed into my hands. “Ready?” I nodded. The music played and I did my thing. “He was a little bit off beat. A bit too fast” Mark said (the A.M.D.). “No, no. He was fine” Adam (the director) said. “Do you know the other song?”  Kristin (M.D.) asked. “Not really, but I can give it a go.” She walked me through it and then started the music.

The song “When You’re Home” started playing and I sang. After the first line I could hear Adam gasping behind me. Kristin signaled to Lorens to get on stage, readying her for when the duet portion began. We sang the final note and the room was silent. I looked around. Fearful I wasn’t good enough. That I had just wasted everyone’s time. Lorens was giddy, almost doing the pee dance. Kristin was beaming. Mark was expressionless. And Adam was silent (which is a scary thing.) Without a word he stands up and walks over to me and gives me a giant hug! Afterwards he says: “we have been looking for you for all of thi- wait… Will you be my Benny?” I laughed as I nodded my head. “I would love to.” I said almost out of breath. He wrapped his arms around me once more and welcomed me to the cast… It was a surreal moment.



Salon Starlett, Natalie Coca who play's Carla says,
"When he sings, I melt."

The members of the production team apparently were struggling to find the right Benny for a while and there I was. But the struggle wasn’t over for me. Nor would it be. I told my brother that night (who I haven’t spoken to in a long while) that I was cast in a show that I rap in. He was a little dumbfounded but said he couldn’t wait to see it. My mom, when I told her I rap in my next show, said “You mean presents, right?” And that’s the response I get from everyone that knows me…

I am not a rapper. I am not Latino. I am not African-American like the role was originated to be. I am a white ballad singer! Not to mention, EVERYONE who was at that callback was going to see that I, the white boy who messed up his callbacks royally, was going to be playing Benny. One of the principle roles. Cast against type. Cast after a callback like THAT! How on Earth was I going to prove my worth? To prove my place? To find my place… They were all welcoming at the first cast meet and greet. But I could feel it: the wondering of “why him?” Every day since then, in and out of rehearsal, I strive to prove myself to each and every one of them. I work hard every day on my raps with the upmost appreciation for Kristin and Mark for helping me out with them. I try my best to emulate Matt’s (Usnavi’s) “swag” and to learn how to make my raps come to life a third of way that he can. I praise the Persian Prince (Jordan) on him taking the time to teach me some of his dance moves to better fall into my character; I practice them to point where I am sore the next day. I hit the book so hard to bring the role of Benny to life.

I have a lot of pressure in this role. A professional regional premiere! And the people who know the show are going to be expecting an African-American Benny. They’ll be judging me all through the show: “A white Benny? Let’s pick apart his every move! Let’s make him out to be the weakest part of the show because it’s not how it’s supposed to be!” Often, I feel like an outcast within the cast. The odd ball. The token white boy… The mistake.

And it’s THAT feeling; that drive to prove myself, to work harder than anyone to be the best that I can be. THAT is why I know I can do this role because, in a nutshell, THAT is who Benny is; the odd-man out. Like me. The one who is constantly trying to prove his place to everyone around him. Like me! The one struggling to find a home in his community! Like. Me. A home within himself. Like! Me! He has so much love and so much passion. JUST! LIKE! ME!

"The (Fat) Fantastic Four"

He just so happens to speak his heart through song and his soul through rap. And if we have everything else in common, then by god, we will have that in common too! I will sing my heart and I will rap my soul and when this show opens I will leave people saying “Wow. White boy CAN rap!” and I will have, finally, found my home in this production… I know I’ve found my famillia. Each and every one of them, from our “Lavallee” choreographer, Elise, to our youngest member, Addie, have influenced and supported me. I could not have done it without them. The (Fat) Fantastic Four have been a pillar for me.  They’ve been my brother and sisters since I was brought into this cast and I could not have been more blessed to work alongside them…

So there’s your “New (but pretty much the same) way of looking at Benny”. This white boy can rap and you best watch out DFW, because “I’m taking over the Barrio!”

DIVAS of THE SALON: A brief moment with "Carla" & "Daniela"

Defining Carla and Daniela’s relationship has been one of my favorite things to work on in this show. We already knew that they were the chismosas of the barrio but there is also a special friendship the two share that Amanda and I wanted to make sure we could enact authentically on stage. Carla admires Daniela and looks to her to fill in the blanks that she’s often missing. They are completely in sync and love to invest (though most would call it gossip) in the lives of others.

As far as their profession goes, the ladies of the salon epitomize the best of the salon experience. Most of us go to a salon in search of transformation, to be pampered, or for just good ol’ personal maintenance. There is never really anything severely consequential about going to a salon. (Unless you accidentally get 1 ft cut off when you just wanted bangs.) Similarly, Carla and Daniela may not be the end all be all’s of the barrio, but they are there to offer their friendship, support, gossip and a little bit of humor to others along their journey.

I’ve never had a sister – I actually have three brothers - but I imagine that if I did, I would want to tell her about my troubles, laugh with her, look to her for advice and more. Amanda and I have quickly bonded into the type of sisterly confidants that I would imagine Carla and Daniela to be and I’m so looking forward to learning more about each other throughout the rehearsal process. Who knows! There might even be a spa/salon day in our near future!

Xoxo,

-Natalie

Natalie Coca (Carla) and Amanda Williams (Daniela) in music rehearsal.

　

Daniela is a larger-than-life character. She's witty, sarcastic, LOUD, and moody. She also has a softer, motherly side that tends to be optimistic and grounded.The best part about her as a role to play is her thick,　gravelly Puerto Rican accent - which doesn't exactly come naturally to me.　

To be able to play a Latina such as Dani I needed to do some serious character research. I was in NYC recently, so I took the opportunity to head up to The Heights (Unfortunately I couldn't "head up to 181st and take the escalator" because the A was only running to 168th that weekend) for some culture immersion.　

The first thing I noticed is how accurately In the Heights　captured the neighborhood. I immediately found a salon and bodega right next to each other, and another, and another. In every salon I came across stood women that look like Dani would busily snipping away and chatting to their cosmetic colleagues. It was "No Me Diga" right before my eyes.　

The thing I experienced that left the biggest impression on me was that everyone on the street seemed to be YELLING at each other in intense, rapid Spanish. People in shops, men working in the street, elderly women waiting for the bus, all shouting at each other - without any hint of anger or malice. That's not something you can understand by reading about it on Wikipedia. Hopefully Ms. Coca and I can attempt to capture that feeling. She's been helping me with my accent!!!

"Saca la maraca, bring your tambourine, come and join the parranda!"

- Amanda

BEING MACHO: A Defense from Martin Antonio Guerra, the In the Heights "Papi"

Being Macho: A Defense

When someone says, "He's so macho!" are we supposed to consider this a compliment or an insult? While the Village People sang the praises of having a manly body in "Macho Man" the feminist movement has given us permission to belittle any man who has more muscles than brains, and sitcoms continually laugh at men who still stubbornly refuse to ask for directions.

In truth, we have mixed feelings toward the men in our life. The Spanish-derived term "macho" or "machismo" has ambivalent connotations. We like our men to be strong, but not abusive. We like a man who takes control, but we don't want him to be too controlling. The Urban Dictionary defines machismo as "having an unusually high or exaggerated sense of masculinity." So if you feel that a man shows an exaggerated attitude of aggression, sexual bravado, or control, then calling him "macho" is probably tainted with disapproval. On the other hand, if the attitude isn't exaggerated, but rather if a man exhibits an authentic sense of confidence based on his ability to protect his family and provide for their needs, then calling him "macho" could be considered a compliment. We may prefer to use the term "Daddy" or "Papi" but these are terms of endearment that really admit to our attraction to true masculinity in our fathers, our husbands, and our leaders.

As I study the role of Kevin, the father figure of IN THE HEIGHTS, I will no doubt draw from my experience with my own father, whose confidence as a provider and protector has been painfully diminished by old age and the mismanagement of never ending debt. In my opinion, the negative traits of machismo, the controlling, stubborn nature, the aggressive anger, come out only when a man's sense of confidence or usefulness is threatened -- when he feels useless.

As owner of a taxi company, Kevin Rosario is obviously a leader in his community. When he left Puerto Rico, his goal was to surpass the frustrating and backbreaking occupation of his father and grandfather -- that of a farmer -- and he can claim some pride in being called "boss". But all these accomplishments are always on the brink of being lost because running a small business is stressful with lots of ups and downs and usually built on a lot of debt. He's recently had to lay off three drivers, the mechanic won't repair any more taxis until he gets paid for the last job, and they may need an emergency loan to cover payroll again. Nevertheless, Kevin stays optimistic through it all. 　Staying calm and collected is his way of saying, "I'm still in control. I will not fail." I definitely recognize my own father in Kevin. 　One of my father's first jobs was picking onions and cotton in the fields of South Texas, but he "moved up" to become a truck driver and then the owner of a Trucking company. 　Later, the business expanded to Guerra Construction, which paved a lot of parking lots and driveways all around Corpus Christi. I remember being given small chores around my Dad's shop, sweeping, cleaning the trucks, getting my hands greasy handling tools and truck parts, and then learning to do payroll and a little accounting. 　But being the boss of all that did not interest me at all. 　I preferred books and music. 　Besides, I saw how much it stressed my mother out. She often complained about how my father took risks and made decisions without her, and how there wasn't much left over after everyone else got paid. She knew, more than he did, that this could all be over in an instant, and sure enough, my father lost it all in the recession of the 1980's. 　Ever since then, he's been doing construction jobs on a smaller scale but always in debt and always in search of that next big project that will pay everything off. 　Through all this, my father remains calm and optimistic -- almost blindly so. 　I never saw him raise his voice or get angry or abusive, but he was passively aggressive anyway because he rarely followed my mother's advice or pleadings. 　In the end, he believed that he knew more about how to run a business than any woman could despite all evidence to the contrary. 　Nearing 80 years old now, we've been begging him to retire, but I know in my heart that he will be working until the day he dies. 　To retire now would be to admit failure because there are still bills to pay and men who call him "boss". 　As my grandmother used to say, "Los Guerras son muy mandones!" / "The Guerra men like to give orders!" Having the last word, making decisions about business, having someone to give orders to, these things form the basis of his identity as a man even more than bringing home a profit. He's still stubbornly determined to prove my mother wrong. 　He will not be the reason that his family can't succeed.

Kevin and my father can both claim more success when it came to raising their children. All good parents want their children to reach a higher level of education and prosperity than they did, and they will sacrifice whatever it takes to help their children reach their goals. 　The fact that Kevin raised a daughter who was smart enough and disciplined enough to get into Stanford University is testament to his role in building her up to fly higher than he had ever reached. Some lesser Latino men might see this as a threat to their masculinity -- especially when it comes to their daughters, but Kevin need not exaggerate his masculinity by keeping his daughter down. She's going change the world, and he's going to help her do it. 　My father graduated from high school and did some military service, but that was considered "success" for most men of his generation and in his barrio. 　I remember my parents working extra hard to make sure we went to the best schools, and three out of their four children finished college with a Bachelor's degree and my brother and I went further and completed Masters Degrees as well. 　　But we had to "educate them" about the costs and perils of going to college. We could not rely on any guidance from them because we were forging new ground they had never trod. 　Nevertheless, we scrapped together scholarships, grants, and loans, and we achieved our goal with their blessing and prayers. My parents rarely traveled, but some of the few road trips they ever took in their life were to drop us off at university and to witness our graduations four years later. 　Our success was their success, and my father still loves dropping names like Notre Dame and Harvard when talking to his compadres.

When it came to the matter of who their children chose to date, both Kevin and my father's experience was no doubt bewildering and a "little bit racist," as they say on Avenue Q. 　Our director's choice to cast Benny as a white boy rather than black feels a lot more familiar to me. In South Texas, we had little encounters with African-Americans, but we were sort of taught to be wary of white folks, not so much because they were better or worse so much as "different". 　So Kevin's concern that Benny knows "nothing about our culture" is in part protective because paternal instincts say that our children will likely be most happy with someone who shares our culture. 　In the end, it's Camila, his wife, who makes the final call about whether Benny is good enough for their daughter. 　When I was dating girls in high school, my parents always wanted to know the last name of my girlfriends, trying to ensure that I was dating someone Hispanic. And by golly, they had better be Catholic! 　My father may have been a little bit racist, but thankfully not very homophobic. Both my brother and I identify as gay, and even though my parents probably grieved silently about expectations for big Mexican weddings that never happened and the expectation for lots of grandchildren, they have shown nothing but love and acceptance for us and our partners, even my gringo partner, Bill! 　In my opinion, those men who are most comfortable in their masculinity are the least homophobic. When it came to my sisters, my parents had to stretch their tolerance even more. One sister never married, and my other sister’s husband is surprisingly not Hispanic, but rather Lebanese and Muslim! Sometimes, I am tempted to lament the grief and worry they must have suffered for their children’s choices in life and love, but truth be told, they are very proud of our courageous willingness to be fully who we are, bi-cultural / tri-cultural, and proud that we have flown further and broader than the small world of South Texas where they raised us. Even more importantly, they have been happy to see us fulfilled in stable long-term relationships. My sister gave birth to four beautiful daughters, and my brother and his partner will soon be adopting their first child. We are blessed. We are grateful.



From left to right: Martin Antonio Guerra, Tio Eli Guerra, Tio Mando Guerra, My Father, Zaragoza Guerra, Jr. and my younger brother, Zaragoza Andres Guerra, III

That's why I consider my father to be macho in the most authentic sense of the word. That's the way I want to play Kevin – stubbornly determined to succeed, occasionally angry when he loses control of matters around him, but lovingly protective and supportive of his family’s happiness. That’s what it means to be a man. 　　

"This is someone's story..." A moment with Piagua Guy, Michael D. Alonzo

I was first exposed to In The Heights while watching the 62nd Annual Tony Awards ceremony in June of 2008. That night, the cast of ITH performed "96,000" and I just remember being blown away. My immediate first thought was, "Whoa, they are rapping in a musical…How cool! AND it sounds incredible!" Their performance that night had such a familiar style and flare which was so representative of my culture. I recount being swept with excitement and joy because the Latino community had made another mark on Broadway! It was at that moment where I added In the Heights to my bucket-list of shows I must to do before I die.

Soon after, I purchased the soundtrack and songbook. I, just like everyone else, spent countless hours listening through the entire album. There was never a song I could skip past because it was obvious that an immeasurable amount of heart and soul went into each and every song; a feeling I had never experienced with any other album prior. The lyrics reminded me of conversations my family members and I would have at the dinner table at family gatherings. The instrumentation would send me into nostalgic memories of walking through different tiendas and mercados. However, there was one song in particular which resonated within’ me: "Piragua."

"Piragua" is an all-around fun song. It’s upbeat and salsa characteristics make one feel as though they have to get out of their seat and dance around. Every time I listen to this song, I feel as though my Hispanic heritage courses through my veins, so much so that I am overtaken with a huge sense of Latino pride. This was the first song I had learned from the show, and I was insistent upon performing this number one day.

And now that day has come! I could not feel more blessed to be performing Piragua Guy. To be quite frank, the audition process was scary, mainly because of how artistic and gifted each and every person was. There was so much talent POURING out of the theater and it was incredible watching all these DFW actors taking risks and living their dream onstage. I am still to this day extremely humbled to have been considered by Adam Adolfo and his creative team, as well performing alongside the best cast I have ever had the pleasure of working with.

Fast-forward a week or so after getting cast. I thought to myself, "Where do I find inspiration for this role? What can I research or listen to so I can do justice for this character?" Piragua Guy is essentially "fresh off the boat," just stepping onto American soil for the first time in hopes of making a better living here in the states. I have told myself countless times that this role is not a fictionalized character, this is someone’s story. In fact, it is hundred’s of immigrants’ stories. It then occurred to me that someone in my family has lived Piragua Guy’s story in some way: my grandfather, José Velasquez.

Dad José, at least in my book, truly captures the essence and image of Mexican pride. He is such a caring and loving individual, not to mention one of the strongest and bravest men I know. Dad José was born in Torreón, Mexico, and is the third child of a large Mexican family of thirteen children. He went to school up until third-grade, but unwillingly left to pursue work to help make a living for the family. Dad José remembers enjoying school and wishing he could pursue an education, but he felt obligated to do whatever he could to help out his family, regardless of his age. However, no matter how hard my Dad José worked, all the little money he would receive would go straight to his parents.

Yet, Dad José cherished any free time he had as a kid. As a reward for working hard, he and his brothers would go down and swim in the river as a relief from the scolding heat! Eventually, he and his family immigrated to the United States. He worked as a shoe-shiner until the age of 13, but asked to do something different because he would get embarrassed when the cute girls would laugh at him. Because of this, Dad José worked construction from age 14 until he retired at the age of 68.

 

During this time, he met my abuela (Mom Guille) and was the father of four children, one of whom unfortunately passed in the early years of childhood. Dad José worked long hours every day to ensure there was food on the table and a roof over their heads. He also made it a priority to educate himself, and would do so by reading quite a bit (including the dictionary).

I recall an early memory from my childhood. As I sit in the living room of my grandparents’ house, I see a young, Hispanic man pushing a tiny cart attached with bells on the side and a plastic umbrella on the top through the cracked streets of an arid El Paso afternoon. It is the Paletero man, the Mexican equivalent of the Piragua Guy. He would walk down these streets everyday in hopes of earning a hard-earned dollar, hoping to live the American dream.

As I continue rehearsing for the musical, I constantly envision myself in the shoes of my abuelo. I want people to relate to the Piragua Guy like I have and say, "Oh, that is my uncle," or "That’s my father as a kid!" I dedicate this role for the people who risked their lives and had sweat drop down their faces just for the opportunity to have a better life, for people like my parents and my abuelo.

The cast and I are very dedicated to this production; it is going to be spectacular! I am constantly inspired by my cast, family and friends, and look forward to our final few weeks before opening night.

No pares, sigue sigue

Michael Alonzo

Sonny: Future of the Barrio with Rashaun Sibley

The Future of the Barrio….now that’s a title. Wow. Growing up I’ve always wanted to be considered as the future of something or some sort of spokesperson for my generation. What kid doesn’t? In my life some of the things I’ve achieved include: getting into college to learn more about my true love (performing), eating a lot of chicken nuggets, and getting cast in Artes De La Rosa’s In the Heights! I’m really hoping this is the path that helps lead to a successful and happy actor and even a voice for people…especially the eating part.

Sonny is absolutely a voice for the people. He is so passionate about making the world a better place. He knows he can help fix huge issues like housing and the "edjumication" system. He is not afraid to discuss topics like gentrification and immigration and he encourages his peers to do the same and stand up for what they believe and what they think they deserve. He’s also funnier than a fart and I basically just want to be him in life.

When I first heard the music from In The Heights, I was literally amazed. I had heard nothing like it before in musical theatre and I identified with it and its amazing characters and story immediately. I found Sonny in this show and just couldn’t believe a character so close to me existed. It actually reminded me of when I watched The Lion King when I was little and discovered Simba for the first time. (If you’re reading this, Lion King on Broadway, call me. I’ll be there.)

Sonny is fiery. He is so much fun. Nearly everything he says you either laugh at or you marvel at the passion he has behind his words. He wears his emotions on his sleeve so when you’re with him, you never get anything else but the real Sonny. What I admire about Sonny is that he goes for what he wants and he goes hard. He has too much passion for him to just sit around. He will definitely go out there and do it for himself. Sonny will succeed in changing the world. And he won’t stop until he does. I think Sonny and I have that same mentality in common. Life is just too short to not be persistent in your dreams and goals and to notgive 110%. Hardships and struggles help make us all soldiers. And I can’t wait to show everyone my portrayal of a soldier.

Getting to play Sonny is going be one of the most fun roles I’ve ever gotten the chance to play and I can’t wait to share him and the rest of this show with the community. Everyone needs to come see this show. Even if you’re in New York, or London, or a treehouse in an Amazonian rainforest…you need to come see this. It’s going to touch you and be something you can’t see anywhere else. Get ready cuz I’m ready

Blessings, love, and chicken nuggets,

- RASHAUN